sitting in the haze of incense smoke

I'll preface with my growing awareness of an ever-increasing cynicism of American Christianity. I shouldn't be, but I'm comfortably distant from my target and can call out criticisms without fear of retribution. it's a luxury of a lazy bloke with nothing present to fight.

I was talking to my coworker yesterday. he's led an interesting life, to be sure. he's a fairly opinionated feller and is willing to share with just about anyone who has a somewhat-functioning cochlear nerve. I forget why the discussion came up, be we were talking religion again. why I do this to myself, I'll never know; perhaps because I feel like I can get a word in edgewise given my familiarity with the subject. plus he knows my pastoral training. not that it ever inclines him to make inquiries on my behalf, but it's still something to talk about regardless. but I digress.

he made the comment that he'd spent a fair amount of time in the foster care system while growing up. he's spent a fair amount of time doing just about everything, so this didn't surprise me too much. he did say, though, that the best homes to live in were the Mormon homes and the worst homes to live in were the Catholic homes. I believe we must've been talking about Christians using one another, or something along those lines. regardless, it made me think for a sec.

my immediate thought had to do with Mormon culture. my coworker mentioned how much Mormons gave to the church, mentioning something along the lines of a 90% tithe rate at the particular church he went to with this foster care family. he's one for exaggeration, so I'm sure this is skewed a bit. anyway, what got me thinking was the difference between Mormonism or any other religion that usually sounds like its adherents are decent chaps, and Christianity and how its adherents are ridiculed for not following the golden rule.

so finally, the point of the post: my thought. I wonder if perhaps those Mormons behaved well, took care of their family and foster kids, and paid out a lot of tithes because they had to earn their spot in heaven. I'm not sure on the particulars, but given that following Christ is the only religion that doesn't involve earning salvation, it's a safe assumption that this is the case for Mormonism (and I've heard the stories about 3 heavens etc.) I wondered right after that if perhaps the reason the Christian homes were so bad to my coworker because those were the homes where salvation was "entitled" to the occupants. sounds fairly American to me, again with the whole cynicism thing.

whether these thoughts of mine are reality or a gross farce, it still makes me want to rant at what I'm supremely susceptible to becoming. in a nation where the most-honored are those who have earned everything for themselves and the most-hated are those who have been given everything, it is no wonder "free" salvation has become so mutilated. my coworker mentioned the heavy restrictions and policies imposed by his Catholic caretakers. free anything is an abhorrence to American thought, at least when it comes to position and status. if you're the receiver of this free position, you hungrily take all of it for granted. if you're watching, you hate the new position-grubber.

so free salvation can't be free. it has to have restrictions, rules, regulations with heavy punishments for deviation. the Christian and Catholic homes would be awful for a dude like my coworker. the Mormon homes, who are earning their salvation directly instead of fabricating ways indirectly to earn it, would be a safe and easy place for my coworker.

I would hope I'm not naive enough to think this is the case across the board. human nature is human nature and there are members from across the gamut in any religion. still, for some reason this makes sense in my head why I've become cynical of the religion I prescribe to. because I'm insulated, safe, hidden, and an easy accuser of wrongs to the face of my "club".

today's musings

I had a pondering today at work. I was on my way to Home Depot to grab some materials for the day in the company flatbed truck. I passed a car parked on the side of the road that had the contents of the trunk on the ground, the spare tire out, and a man on a cell phone. I blasted on past to pick up the material at Home Depot before continuing up to the job.

but I started wondering. I remember a study recently that showed most Christians won't stop and help someone if they are in some kind of rush to be somewhere. I'm guilty of that, given today's events, but still...I almost feel like the non-Samaritans in the Good Samaritan story.

I would've done a disservice to my boss if I had stopped though. would've cost him money. whether I think he should worry about money or not is not my place; what is my place is to perform for him the best I can, as if performing unto God Himself.

so really I was faced with two rather lame options. stop and help the guy, feel good about myself for helping someone in need, and get chewed up and down by the boss for wasting his time. OR, blast on past the guy, getting to the jobsite as quickly as possible to finish as quickly as possible, and save the boss money.

I was left figuring I had to choose the lesser of two evils, but I'm not sure I actually chose the lesser of two evils.

speaking of ramifications

the current sermon series at church has been on David and his long journey to kingship over Israel. tonights sermon dealt with Saul and the witch of Endor (as Beff put it, she was an ewok) vs. David's inquiry of the Lord whether he should take revenge of the sack of Ziklag by the Amalekites. the point of the sermon was Saul's response to fear at the sight of the Philistine army was to find a quick fix (the Lord wasn't responding to his requests, so he did what he shouldn't to get an answer) whereas David's response to being at the bottom of the pit of despair was to take strength in the Lord. there was a lot more involved, and the two experiences were tied together better than what I just presented, but I'm not trying to relay the whole sermon, just give a brief recap.

cause I was reading while pastor Brandon was speaking, and noticed that Samuel condemned Saul to die for not executing God's judgment on the Amalekites.

and David's city (where all of his wives and children, and the wives and children of his followers who wanted to stone him after the sacking) was razed by the Amalekites.

Saul failed in his responsibility. and it cost David.

I'm sure the connection has been made a lot, and perhaps I'd heard it before, but for whatever reason I just put it together. Saul's failure cost David. David's faithfulness restored him and his men.

my failure won't just cost me. Saul lost his life, and his sons were cut off as well, because of his failure, but his mistake cost more than just his own life.

I'd better be awfully darn careful with what I do and keep myself from screwing up, cause I may be ruining someone else's life too.

when in Rome

I'm helping Bethany lead a small group for church. sign-ups started today, lasting through the beginning of February. it's a small group that aims to help a local charity organization. the whole acting out your faith thing.

certainly hope I'm ready to put my money where my mouth is. I'd rather not put my foot where my mouth is.

the cause of Christ does not include the right to bear arms

unless I'm vastly mistaken and this pastor has the gospel correct.

we live in a country that is composed of freedom and "rights". I'm all for taking advantage of a right when it furthers the kingdom of God - Paul did as much in Acts by appealing to Caesar. but, the fundamental nature of Christianity is the sacrificing of ones "rights" - right to self-interest, right to self-promotion, right to egocentric living, even the right to possessions. we are called to be in the world and not of it, and the world holds its "stuff" very dear; but we are not called to be tied down to material possessions. nor are we called to rely on our own strength for protection.

somehow, the cause of Christ has been confused with the cause of American Values. the right to bear arms may be an important one to protect for Joe Blow American, but it is not one a Christian needs to fight for, let alone a pastor.

Christians have become used to their "rights", and I find it unfortunate given that the movement was founded in a culture that denied those Christians their rights. American Christians are comfortable with their stuff, their possessions and rights and status. if I understand the words of Jesus correctly, those who are materially rich (read: rich young ruler w/ possessions, rights, status) have an awful hard time entering the kingdom of God. it's not impossible, but when a person has all they need without needing God, that same person learns to rely on their own strength and not God's (Who is sufficient for us all, btw). God then becomes a crackerjack box toy that a dude can pull out as his ace up the sleeve when he "needs" it.

I own arms. I enjoy hunting. shooting guns is fun, and if it weren't for hunting and for shooting stuff the relationship I have with my dad and cousins would be vastly different. but I'm not going to fight for those. they're a luxury as a Christian, not a right.

and the church shouldn't be viewing them as such.

first time for everything

I haven't blogged in a long long while, and no one actually sees this blog anyway so I could get away with posting just about anything I wanted to. I have a feeling it might start getting some traffic if I get around to promoting it, but who knows.

I had a real downer of an evening. put in 50 hours of work this week, overdrafted the moon, had one or two vent sessions over the boss/work, and endured some pretty fierce spiritual attacks. I survived all but the last - endured is the wrong word, sustained is perhaps a better choice. or perhaps even "fell flat on my face in front of".

it would make sense that all heck would break loose at once. things typically go fine for a long while, while the enemy bides his time and waits for an opportunity. then, wouldn't you know it, he springs in the midst of a firestorm. and I don't guard myself well at all.

I almost wonder if perhaps all heck broke loose as a result of loosing the battle. sin affects everything we do whether we know it or not. my emotional ventilation might not have been such a taxing experience had it not been for me screwing up. in fact, the whole work situation might have been handled completely differently if I hadn't allowed my connection to God get strained.

of course, the only thing I can do now is pick it back up and keep moving forward. I have the unfortunate duty of figuring out a good way to be accountable to someone. I know all the tricks and tips and so on about accountability, but for whatever reason (read: lazy) I have a hard time keeping it in place and useful.


on a completely different thought, I'm trying to figure out a way to make my life feel a little more "useful" right now. perhaps I could use this blog as a vehicle for, something. research? I did want to research and exegete a passage of Scripture and then put the results on here. maybe I'll do that later - it'd be nice to have a purpose again, rather than trying to find some kind of satisfaction out of building fences I'll never use or need.

I could probably carry on a thought or two about fences, but.....nah.